Rainy day

Most of the busiest days tend to go by the fastest.

*poof* and it's 5PM.

I love my Fridays because I don't have any classes and it allows me to werk werk werk werk werk.

THE Question

"What are you going to do after you graduate?"

I've been asked this question countless times. I've also asked others this questions many times too, perhaps in hopes that I could find an answer to that question. 

I remember being asked this question during my first year in uni. I probably said "I don't know," and the answer I'd get would be something like "Don't worry, you still have time."

Now, just a few months away... and my answer is still "I don't know." 

Stumble in Spring

Since it is my last Spring quarter in my undergraduate journey... and the days are going super duper fast, I'll try to write about the mundane, the interesting, and the crazy stuff that I stumble upon every day until my graduation! 

And is happy

I was floating in the sea today. And I saw a Hawksbill turtle's head emerged from the waves less than two meters away from me. It took a breath with its mouth open, and dove back into the waters.

It was beautiful. 

Surprise Sunday

You gave Your life

To give me mine

You say that I am free

How can it be

COUGH, I'm alive

Today we got to send off our oldest :P cousin at the airport after her two weeks of PARTAY here. A wave of emotions hit me when I got into the airport.  A storm coming out of nowhere, GEEZ o.O In my silent walk with my family towards the check-in line, I tried hard to hold back my tears. 

When I finally could recognize what I was feeling, I realize that I wanted to go home too.
I know that there are people who have not been home for many years, I admire your perseverance. 

It's been more than a year now that I have not been home. And the tendency to miss home, my friends and family is becoming... a little less bearable.

Oh my family and friends from home, I really do think about you all. 
And I miss miss miss spending time with you, you and all of you. 

Just saying (: 

Dr. Cristina Yang

She,

has played such an inspiring role, 
in the show, and in my life. 

Bold, confident, impenetrable.

She has shown me that it is O.K. 
to hold it all in sometimes,
but times of letting go is a necessary part too. 

Source: Google Images

Do what you love, love what you do

love so amazing

I love love. 

I am so grateful to have the chance to meet people,
kind, caring, patient, open and accepting.
I am gratified to have a group of friends 
ambitious, empowering, and loving. 
They keep me going. 

And also nature, 
beautiful, majestic,
and filled with wonders.
It keeps me going. 

I love that we're all connected some way somehow. 

It lives. We live. 

break or blend

For the past few weeks, I've actually got bothered by the little things around me. 

I just feel so trapped in a system,
social norms for instance, what you ought or expected to do, or not to,
the feeling which you don't feel like you're in control of your very own life,
I mean I'm not saying that I like to be in control,
because He runs the game,
even though I must admit that sometimes I do want to be in control,
but it's just that feeling,
that leaves you feeling like there is no other way,
you must do this, or you must listen to what he or she say,
or else you can't move forward. 

There's this force,
just pushing me to a direction that I don't intend to go,
that's what's bothering me,
I am bothered by myself,
I feel like it's all in me, 
right?

How we end up here or there,
in the end,
it all comes down to our decisions,
whether we want to go with the flow, 
the flow of current that will lead you somewhere that you don't intend to be,
somewhere you could have avoided,
or,
to wreck that force that's holding us back,
trying, hoping and believing,
once again. 

Be brave, 

be kind.

Hello, 2014.

"The seasons always change  

And life will find a way"

Somehow I feel like I've creeped into this new year, 
unaware that it is already twenty-fourteen, 
even though ironically, I went for the NYE countdown at Grand Park L.A,
counting down those last 10s, I felt nothing, indifferent in fact, 
felt like it was just another day. 
Why not countdown every day.


Oh well, cheers all, to life.

yesterday's gone, is that so?

There is always a reason why you met her/him.

I probably said this before, but isn't it a little odd how sometimes the person that you've met just recently can seem to relate to you more than friends that you've known for almost your whole life. That sense of vulnerability that you're willing to let go from yourself when you're with her/him. Secrets that you've never told anyone before, or just weird thoughts that you have in mind. 

And once revealed, you'll then realize how much you both have in common, even though it seems like it is impossible that someone could have experienced something similar. Mind-blowing!

I always thought that, why would i want to tell others about my past and secrets, or why should i pour out my thoughts and feelings to others, why become vulnerable... but then I realize, we need to, no? I feel like that is part of the force that connects us all humans together. 

There is a reason why I met you (: 

move back and forth

I'm home. 

Waking up to what I saw felt so good. It feels like I've been here all this while and the past 10 months were just a vivid imagination from my mind. 

I just found out that my clothes were missing in my wardrobe. I don't know about you, but there are some clothes, no matter how old or worn out they look, I'll still keep them. The PE shirts of my 6-years in high school, t-shirts from volleyball or track competitions I've joined.. Yes, I'm talking about those shirts.

Those old-comfortable-worn-too-much clothes
 meant a lot. 

Now, knowing that they're not with me anymore, I feel like my past is slipping away, and no, I wouldn't want to lose it. 
Keeping them was a way for me to remind myself what I've been through back in the years, 
the hard work and sweat I've put into training and believing.
maybe losing them is a way for me to remind myself to move on instead.

I don't know where the shirts are right now. 
But I hope it will do good to those who have them. 

Thank you

I've been thinking a lot about my major and career lately.

What do I wanna do in the future? What do I wanna be?

When I was spending time to waste time on YouTube, I came across a video showing the interview of Sandra Oh in George Talk, she talked about the challenges that she faced because of her dreams to becoming an actress. She mentioned how her parents disagreed with her decision at the first place, saying that she might not be successful. Though in the end, her parents did fully supported her through. 

Clumping all of those thoughts together,

I realize how fortunate I am.

To be given the chance to choose whatever I want to do,

even though I have no idea what it is that I want to do.

Grateful that my parents did not force me to choose.

Thankful that they got me to where I am now. 

courage is the triumph of the soul

是好是坏要放得开 

not alone in the hall way

Sometimes I feel like whatever I'm going through at that moment, it's only me who's experiencing it. The thought of there is a slight possibility that others are going through the same thing too just doesn't come into sight.

Even if it's just the gulp of water that you take every time after waking up in the morning, the slight discomfort that you feel when the liquid slides down your throat then your chest, so on? Someone somewhere is having that feeling too. 
How interesting! 

In the past few weeks I realized that there is always someone somewhere who is also sharing the same experiences with me. Imagine that. Yes, that thought comforts me, not so that I won't be ashamed, but so that I will be inspired. The sense of connection towards their story and the courage some have to overcome what I could not. 

Have a bubble bath together? 

I am not alone. You are not alone.

Life is good.

Today I am writing this because of Jason Mraz (:
Thank you.

Pocketless

Second week in Spring Quarter, still not getting my days right.

I left my phone in the recreation centre's restroom. I only realize it when I got back to my room, so I biked all the way back there to look for it. Unfortunately, the front desk attendants did not receive any. Ended up biking really slowly back to my dorm, got cut by all the fast and moderate bikers, but it didn't matter to me at all. Once I got back, I knocked on Rachel's door, first thing she said, "I have your phone." 

I had to attend a talk just now. Once my friend and I found seats, we just started talking. Then, there was an announcement. Both of us weren't paying attention to it, but because of his not-so-fluent in pronouncing Chinese names, it caught my attention. He then repeated my name. "Your card is with me." Ohmygosh. 

Unsuresurprised

I'm surprised yet unsurprised whenever I encounter some 'interesting' situations here, in the U.S. Studying abroad definitely widened my horizon not only in knowledge, but perspectives. I guess what I'm trying to point out is that, culture, is certainly something to be noticed of when you're in a foreign land. 

Just the other day a girl, who I hardly talk to, asked me if I have a girlfriend. Well, of course she did not shoot me that question out of the blue. Before that I was having a conversation with a friend about 'boyfriend' stuffs, which is why she asked me if I have a boyfriend, first, so when I said no, she asked if I have a girlfriend. 

My eyes went wide-open when that was thrown out (I assume that she did not notice my reaction). I was not offended. I was not mad or whatever. It's just that I really did not see that coming. Yep, that's the phrase alright. So it made me wonder, is it cause of me, or her, or is it just the culture here, to just ask such sensitive questions, in a room filled with people, also when the two individuals barely know each other.

Oh but I talked to my friend about and he said it's just her. Hm?

If I could paint a memory

Every day is a day to love and be loved. 

Today, I felt like I was even more closer to home. 
It's the day in your life when you realize and know 
that you really do matter in the lives of others;
that there are people out there who really care for you.

Love is indeed a four letter word. 
Thank you, loves. 

Life is good.

We are family

From the top left : 2008, 2011 ; From the top right : 2012, 2013

Looking at this year's Athlete team just makes me feel so proud of them as now it is their turn to experience the amazing adventure we, as ex-athletes, once had. It's so crazy when I think back through the years, I've been part of it for 5 years. Because of them, my life is filled with memories that makes me smile or even tear up sometimes whenever I think of them. Not all of the days were wonderful as there were days of hardship too, but what I love about those days is that we were all there for each other. Challenging ourselves, pushing to the limit, encouraging one another, and most importantly motivating and helping each other grow. After 5 years of being with the team, I have met incredible people and had the best relationships with friends. I am thankful. No regrets. 

It is home.

My remarkable trip to Mount Kinabalu

All the while, I've been dreaming of traveling around the world. It wasn't just for the thrill of being in a different land, it was also the urge to discover the amazing cultures people have there. I am surprised, for now, my longing to travel, is to be in Borneo. I am exhilarated just by thinking of being around nature and the culture of the land where I was born.